GRANDMA WENDY STORY FROM GRANDDAUGHTER

My name is Destiny Savage. I am emailing in regard to the parole hearing of Scott. To give background to my relevancy in this case, I was Scott’s first known victim of his sexual abuse and molestation. Scott was put in prison during my senior year of high school, 2018, and I will remember the peace and healing I got that day for the rest of my life, the beauty of knowing that my real life could start without the burden of sexual abuse weighing down on me.

To me, seven years isn’t an adequate sentence for Scott. During his trial and case, not many details about my abuse were included, so I’d like them to be included in here. My abuse started the moment I became conscious at a mere two and a half years old. It was previously thought that I was older, but I remember the day so clearly. Many of my friends say their earliest memory was a fond childhood memory from their toddler years; however, my earliest memory was of Scott molesting me at his and my grandma’s wedding.

Everyone thought we were having a fun time dancing on the dance floor, but his hands were under my dress the entire time and in my underwear. I was barely potty trained at the time if that gives more perspective on how young I was when this man began preying on me. My mom tells me that for many years during my childhood, we lived with Scott and my grandma on and off or they would babysit us. Unfortunately, I have no recollection of anything before the age of six, besides Scott’s abuse.

I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD, childhood post-traumatic stress disorder, along with borderline personality disorder, a disorder caused by a traumatic childhood where my personality had to be chosen in the company I kept. Borderline personality disorder is linked to many people sharing the similar trauma of sexual abuse. Scott told me I was a bad kid because I was “too seductive” or “too sexy,” but my family telling me I was a bright, lovable child led to me not knowing who I was and struggling with my identity for many years. It made me feel I was keeping the bad parts of me a secret from everyone I loved and that those bad parts are who I inherently was.

I cannot remember any of my youth. I do remember Scott’s abuse though. I remember him making me feel as though it was my fault he was abusing me. He said I was seducing him from a young age. I thought anything and everything was wrong with me. Why would I seduce him? Why did I make him abuse me? This led to a very difficult childhood, young adult, and teenage life for me.

Scott stopped abusing me at twelve officially. At fourteen, my mother was looking through my phone and came across a message I had written to a friend stating details of my abuse. My mom and grandmother were there, and I told them everything. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop him. My grandmother ended up believing him because he “had his hand on the Bible” and would never do something like that, while he had been abusing me for ten years. This led to me struggling with my relationship with God and straying away from him for a long time. I was upset that The Bible’s words meant more than my own little voice at that time. I do not blame my grandmother for this; she was led to believe she was marrying a good Christian man, not signing her life over to a pedophile for sixteen years. My grandma’s reputation and financial loss were only two of the hardships she dealt with after this.

After they first heard of Scott’s abuse, they put me on the phone with him after our discussion, where he proceeded to tell me he’s sorry I “would think he did that to me.” This caused even more turmoil, insecurity, and anger in my life. A few months after that came to light, I ended up seeing him over the summer. He touched my breasts and chest the second my family turned away and looked me in the eyes as if to taunt me, as if to say “I got away with it.” So when that day came in 2018 where I got the news that he was being put behind bars, it was one of the best days of my life; it still is to this day, and I am now 24 years old.

Yet, I also felt a sense of responsibility and shame because I hadn’t protected my cousin from him and his abuse. I carried around that guilt and shame of not speaking up more for a very long time. But I realize that he manipulated me into not speaking up. He made me feel special in a time where I didn’t have a strong fatherly role in my life. He preyed on me, knowing I was a little girl who just wanted to do good and please those around me. He made it known that keeping the secret of his molestation was the only way I’d ever fully pleased him, him being a fatherly role in my life, I latched onto everything he asked of me.

All this to say, I am much better now and knowing he is behind bars brings me peace. I feel that the justice system sometimes fails victims of childhood sexual abuse, but I feel blessed by God that he shined a light on the darkness that Scott brought into my life. Ten years of my life Scott took, I think ten years of his life should be too, at the very least, not to include the five years for my cousin. And not to include the sixteen years of my grandmother’s life. Years of people’s lives he took. Years that equate to a lot more than seven years in jail.

Only seven, yet his abuse will in some way, shape, or form be carried with me throughout a lifetime. He’s manipulative, and I don’t think he should be released ever, but I know that isn’t plausible, so I’d settle for more time behind bars. I don’t think he should be able to live without the world knowing he is a pedophile. Him being free, I could see him slithering his way into someone’s family like he did ours, and abusing their children. I was 2 and a half, please remember that, I had no voice. His victims usually don’t, since most of them can’t speak yet at all, being children and toddlers and such.

Scott is a manipulative predator. This was also shown during his original trial, where he claimed my young cousin also seduced him. A man who thinks children can be seductive in any capacity is a man capable of vile and disturbing things. I’d know firsthand that this man has never shown remorse; I doubt he even feels any with the way he subjected me to manipulation and private slander for a decade. I try not to let my anger get the best of me, but thinking about Scott Ruby living a free life when he took my innocence away does make me angry. I would rather live my life peacefully knowing he is behind bars rather than wondering if I’m unsafe because, in the midst of all the years of abuse, he still believes he is the innocent one.

Thank you for allowing me the space to send this email and share my thoughts and feelings on the matter. I had allowed this man to silence me for so long, knowing he can’t do that anymore is one of the best blessings God has ever bestowed upon me.